An eating disorder therapist ‘weighs in’ on society’s Frenemy- The Scale

Tom steps on the scale, and his logical mind sees the number and recognizes that it has increased by 2.3 pounds since two days ago when he last weighed himself on the magical, all-telling square box. Tom's logical brain states: "I have not gone to the bathroom today and drank a lot of water yesterday. Whatevs." Tom's emotional brain says, "WHAT! I just weighed x amount two days ago- I need to really reel it in. I feel x about myself."

What would a wise mind say?

"This number simply reflects the gravitational pull on my body. My weight is simply a number, just like any other number. It is not a reflection of me being 'good or bad.' Weight fluctuates as humans normally do. Weight will change, worth does not."

The scale. Such a love/hate relationship for many.

I have had individuals in my office share that they weigh or have weighed themselves 20+ times per day. Others have not wanted to see the number in years. Either way, your struggles are valid and emotionally taxing.

Numbers and scales often produce an interesting effect in which many share that they just have to know the number. However, the act of weighing oneself perpetuates an anxiety feedback loop. "I am anxious and need to weigh myself to seek reassurance that I am ok, that my body has not changed."

The number is up. Shame. Pain. Anger. Fear. I have to restrict myself. I have to use behaviors to compensate. I am bad. The number is down. Momentary relief that lasts 7 seconds. "I AM GOOD!!!" Then- the crushing introduction of anxiety and fear yet again. "I must keep this up. I am terrified it could go up. I must continue to use whatever behaviors I am using to maintain or continue to decrease the number."

There is no satisfaction.

Observing and evaluating the feelings, thoughts, emotions, and responses that weighing oneself may bring up can provide information, clarity, and intention surrounding if this is helpful or harmful for an individual.

As an eating disorder therapist and someone who has also been in recovery from eating disorders, I don't know my weight. When I go to the doctor's office, I just hop on backward if they need to take it. I am able-bodied and privileged in that while my body comes with a slew of health 'quirks' (see that cute little reframe there), these quirks don't necessitate having to track numbers continuously for my medical issues.

It is none of my business what my body is doing weight-wise.

However, there may be times in which someone may need to know or track their weight: Procedures, tests, or medical reasons. Support from a medical team and trusted providers is crucial in navigating any underlying medical conditions.

You may be reading and thinking, "But Winter….I only weigh myself once a week…." My honest answer- ok. You do you! I am not here to tell you that knowing that number means anything other than you know a number.

And can we dig a little deeper?

What do we think is correlated with this number?

Health.

I would like us to contemplate and get curious about what we have been taught about health in our society. Our idea of health is dripping in fatphobia, weight bias, thin privilege, and diet culture-plagued the idea of what 'health' is.

Health is saturated with numbers. Push-ups. Green juices. Detoxes. Bulking. Cutting. Diets. Macros. Calories. Recomping. Squats. Gut health. Saunas.

The 'wellness' industry is disguised as doing good for our bodies when truly, what IS good for our bodies? Maybe we have become so lost in what we think health and wellness is due to what we have been conditioned to believe are markers of health that we may not even truly know.

I have seen loved ones eat their greens, move their bodies, never take a drink or a drug and still receive a cancer diagnosis. They have taken care of their bodies and still died from heart attacks. Terminal illness.

We are humans who are mortal. And as much as we hope to fight off disease and sickness with bone broth and turmeric, there are too many variables that will determine 'health' let alone life expectancy.

Health is mental health. Is my relationship with food and my body safe? Or is it driven by diet culture, trying to fit my body into what I feel is acceptable to others, is it driven by thinness and not true wellness? Is my idea of wellness impacting my mental health?

Health is physical - am I eating nourishing foods that bring me joy, connection, cultural celebration, fulfillment, satiety, brain function? Am I sleeping? Am I hydrated? Am I eating a variety of foods to balance nutrient content and not be bored? How is my appetite? Am I honoring my body and having compassion towards it?

Health is spiritual. Health is intellectual. Health is financial. Health is occupational. Health is individual.

You cannot tell if someone is healthy just by looking at them. Just by observing their weight or what they eat.

I have worked with many clients in recovery from body image struggles, eating disorders, or disordered eating histories in which their treatment team and I have walked through weight exposures with them when appropriate.

Because we get to take the power away from what we have been taught - that a number defines our worth, how we treat ourselves, how we treat others.

It can just be a data point amongst many other data points.

We can be free from the thought that we must know this number to be at peace. Maybe we can drop our weapons and stop fighting our bodies and rather come beside them and ask them what they need from us. They will tell us if we listen <3

If you or a loved one are struggling with your relationship with any of the above, RevealED is here for you. Reach out as our dietitians and therapists are solely here to support you in identifying, uncovering, and revealing the most well version of you!